UNITED NATIONS GENERAL ASSEMBLY REPORT

UNITED NATIONS

A REPORT TO THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The United States of America has been gracious enough to fund what seemed an impossible task but now has been resolved and our report to the General Assembly is as follows: 1. There needs to not be any future apprehension or fear of a crime at-large or a miscarriage of justice assumed. 2. In an accountability of funding, the USA has retained, in the form of grant monies, a quarter of a billion dollars for research to prove once and for all and to put to an end any rumour-mongering concerning that of Alexander Graham Bell and his accomplice Thomas Watson based upon the invention of the telephony concerning the early years of 1917 and the years following to include our current year of our LORD 2007-8. 3. We the General Investigative Body or GIB have determined concerning the fault of such rumour-mongering may now be laid to the feet (so to speak) or to the charge of youths worldwide for all the clamour and disruption worldwide which has amounted to many sleepless nights for parents and governments everywhere. The cost although enourmous of 250 million dollars, shows our concern and resolve to clear up all these areas so that the nations may get back to business and not spend more sleepless nights in anticipation and anxiety and hopeful the psycholgists may return from counseling toward what has now been determined to be nothing more than that of the youth of the world playing pranks on all of us, including the psycholgists whom have spent much time and effort to quell all the anxiety ridden parents and dignitaries worldwide including that of Kings,Queens,Princes and Princesses. Herein, is the truth of the matter:

As early as 1917, Alexander G. Bell played what was determined through our research to be quite the prankster (which has led the youth since to perform, "copycat" of his pranks) as he inquired of Watson in that famous phone call, "Watson, my good fella, have you got Prince Albert in a can?" Knowing that Bell was an avid pipesmoker, the unbeknowing Watson replied to his shagrin, "Yes, I do Alex, might I bring it over?" "No, My dear Watson, Just let him out before he suffocates." As you might realize today's children are calling stores,pantries,grocers and the like and asking "Have you got Prince Albert in a can?", When the unsuspecting proprietors answer, "Yes", the youth state, "Better let him out before he suffocates", some of the youth make a mistake and state, "before he dies".

AS OF THIS REPORT YOU THE KINGS AND DIGNITARIES AND PARENTS MAY END YOUR STATE OF ANXIETY AS WELL AS WE, THERE IS NO REAL PERSON NAMED PRINCE ALBERT OR ANY OTHER PERSON CONTAINED IN A CAN, IT IS MERELY AND ONLY THE NAME OF A TOBACCO BEARING THE TITLE, PRINCE ALBERT. WE REALIZE IT WILL TAKE A WHILE FOR ALL THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD TO FULLY REALIZE THIS REPORT AND THAT IS WHY WE NEED YOU TO TELL ONE THAT THEY MAY TELL ONE. AS SENATOR HILLARY CLINTON ONCE STATED, "IT TAKES A VILLAGE" AND INDEED IT DOES.