PETA: CHANGE SCHOOL NAME OR ELSE

PETA: Spearfish school should be called Sea Kitten

SPEARFISH, S.D. – The activist animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked school officials to change the name of Spearfish High School to "Sea Kitten High School." The new name would "reflect the gentle nature of its current marine namesake," the organization said in a letter to Steve Morford, Spearfish High School principal. PETA said the letter is part of a new Sea Kitten campaign aimed at children. If children were taught to refer to fish as "sea kittens," reflecting that fish, like cats and dogs, are "individuals" that "do have friendships," fewer fish might be killed for food or sport, said Pulin Modi, a PETA spokesman. "We want people to realize that more fish are killed each year than all animals combined," he said. "They don't have the sympathy of more popular animals like cats and dogs." Morford said he did not want to share his feelings about PETA. "Obviously, it's nothing we're taking seriously," he said.

UPDATE: SEA KITTEN UNDER ATTACK BY LAND DOGS

Update: SeaKitten S.D. - After having complied with the group PETA (People Envoking Their Attitude) an animal rights group, and changing the name of the city of SPEARFISH to SEAKITTEN and the school's name from Spearfish High to Sea Kitten High the town and school have become inundated with various kinds of dogs. Dogs have a natural affection for both fish and kittens. The Sea Cats, Men's Basketball Team have complained that since having changed the name of their team they have been beaten and humilated by the Sundance Bulldogs Basketball Team and have had to wash their school's walls and sidewalks from the Bulldog's monthly writting of such things as "Hello Kitty - C/Cats" and "Here, Kitti, Kitti". Their cars have had numerous "pink" cat leashes tied to their bumpers with cans of tuna attached created a much financial burden upon the students and staff alike as they cannot untie the leash's and have to rely upon the towns local auto repair shop which also bares the town's name, "SeaKitties AutoShop". They too have had to put up with such taunts as, "Are you a car repair shop or a kitty shelter - Meow, Meow". "It's gettn totally out O hand" stated Rockind Rod (name withheld upon request) "and dis citi consil best do somtin bout it". "Well said Rock, we agree this has gotten out of hand" said the women's basketball player Robbaacco Dryble (NWHUR) point gaurd for the KittiCats, "And I like pink but our outfits of pink and hotpink with pictures of little kitty's is way much." It seems that not only have the sports and local businesses suffered greatly because of the name change, but also the schools academic level has fall substantually creating an investigation by the Department of Education and the President's NO Child Left Behind program. At this reporting the PETA group have not given any comment nor compensated the students or business for the graffiti removal. Braking News: SEA KITTEN, S.D. - A lawsuit has been filed by Ms. Robbaacco Dryble (not identified) against the Sundance LadyDogs who mocked her during a public spelling bee contest, and the school, Sea Kitten High School and the city of Sea Kitten (formely known as Spearfish, S.D.). When asked to complete and spell the word Mississippi, the star pointgaurd for the KittiCats, accidently knocked over a glass of water on the podium onto her lap and skirt. Not to be deterred from the task at hand she stated Mississippi, a state in the United States of America, M-I-S-S-I-P-P-I as the judge stated sorry Ms Dryble the LadyDogs began shouting "Why don't you dribble Dryble and why don't you Dryble just dribble". Becoming very upset Ms. Dryble ran from the stage slinging water everywhere, with a visible tear flowing from her eyes. "I am tired of being mocked and maid fun of because of the name of our high school and city, It's time to take a stand". And indeed she has, although the damages are unspecified and unknown at this time (3 million) Ms.Dryble, or as here team mates refer to her, "Gusher", has indeed left her mark in the small but lucrative community known only as "Sea Kitten".