IRI NEWS BRIEFS/THE WORLD AROUND YOU

IRI NEWS BRIEFS AND BULLETINS FROM THE IRI DESK AND REPORTER TEAMS OF BEHN HAIDD AND YeSiam Pennit IRI News Brief/a publication of watching you watching us Thursday, July 12, 2007 45 minutes ago NEWS BRIEFS/BULLETINS * Mikel ShirtOff reveals terrorist attack may occur by the end of summer....To meet today with the President over concerns of leak and possible attack.....President expresses concern over Americans anticipation of fear and intimidation of terrorists moves attacks up 3 - 4 weeks...... * Pope's condemnation of Protestant Churches not going to heaven sparks new war moves by the IRA block and the Orange society Ireland braces for war while the President of the US makes plans to send another 100,000 US troops to Ireland.... * Eastern Orthodox Catholic Church decries Pope's message and begins move to separate once again from the Vatican Enclave... * Mexico and Canada visibly shaken by the recent vote of Congress and Senate to insure the right of gun owners to keep ownership and purchases out of the hands of the police, will withdraw from becoming the 53rd and 54th states to the United States.... * Mexico to Canada Superhighway plans put on hold...due to withdrawl concerns of the statehood into America....Road Czar to the SuperCollider Highway F.Latey Chancer stated, "We were running into Natural Habitat problems concerning the land Snail Darter and were being sued by the ItsMyPet Foundation so it is probably a good idea to cool it for now and let calmer minds prevail....."This is all ridiculous", stated a very miffed President Bush, "As if moving the terrorist's plan to hit America ahead 4 weeks isn't enough of a problem, now I have to babysit the whiners of Mexico and Canada, you would think they could get a grip." "I am extremely miffed and do not care who knows it"..... * CDC maintains no crucial evidence was lost during the recent 22million dollar debacle. "It is sort of like we had this money, not laptops,computers or vials of Russian-made Smallpox like that reporter, Behn Haidd reported", stated spokesman Tommie Skinder, "It's all bogus, what he stated"....."Do you realize how easy it is to lose 22 million dollars, you try to keep tabs of it and see if you do not lose it also, this is bunk"..... * Mexico/Canada to appeal to Supreme Court to have 2nd Amendment to the Constitution repealed and made null and void... * Despite heavy losses on Wall Street the Dow resounded with a 300% increase....will continue gains until correction can be made to take place..... * Floods in the drought-laden areas of the west have increased the peoples attempt to take things in stride...... * Brittany Spears is to re-enter rehad this August...her regret-"I may not get to see the terrorist hit on the US"....Oh Brittany..... * Paris Hilton remains in the news despite Fox,CBS,MSNBC,CSPAN,SPORTS NETWORK, 2 hour long specials of We Should Not Be Reporting On Paris Hilton which will run daily on a three time basis, one of which is to repeat in Prime Time..... * Willie O'Really reasserts his understanding of false accusations toward President Bill Clinton's womanizing in the White House, "I do defend him and myself also, I did not touch that woman."..... .........NEWS BRIEFS.....NEWS BRIEFS......NEWS BRIEFS............................