WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING The mouse cried because of the snake,and the snake came to see the mouse,horror,chills,thrills,not for the faint of heart or those with headaches,upset stomach,uncut fingernails,room unclean, etc..., THEY'RE BACK AND THEY ARE REALLY MEAN VILE CREATURES OF TERROR.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007


Pilot finds snake-on-a-plane (Names withheld per request of namey's)
BROOKHAVEN, Miss. — It was no movie moment when a physician, flying himself across Mississippi in a one-seat plane, discovered a stowaway - a gray rat snake. Ed Carruth discovered the snake-on-a-plane when it began "licking" his arm Thursday, he told the Daily Leader of Brookhaven, Miss. "I've been flying planes for 50 years and over 14,000 hours, and this is the most unusual in-flight emergency I've encountered," he said. "I guess it wasn't exactly an emergency, but I did almost hurt myself when I saw it." Needing to fly the plane and lacking tools to get rid of the snake, "I did some aerobatics," Carruth said. "And once he got oriented, he went to the back of the plane." When Carruth arrived at Brookhaven Municipal Airport after his flight from Meridian, officials called a snake expert to remove the reptile. It's not uncommon for snakes to live in airplane hangars, said Joey Pradillo, the expert. "The snakes are in there after the mice. And the hangar is cool on the inside, and that's why he was in there in the first place," he said. Pradillo released the snake into the wild. Rat snakes, also known as "chicken snakes" because they eat chicks and chicken eggs, are not poisonous Disclaimit: All names withheld due to request.

Monday, August 27, 2007


SNAKES IN AN OUTHOUSE-NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART, THOSE WITH HEADACHES, RECENT BREAKUPS, HAVING A BAD DAY - THEY'RE BACK THEY'RE MEAN AND BOY, THEY ARE SLITHERYSNAKES IN A OUTHOUSE - NEW MOVIE RELEASE NEW MOVIE RELEASED NOW AT THEATRES "SNAKES ON A PLANE" - COMING SOON - "SNAKES IN AN OUTHOUSE" Starring: Sammy el Jaxson Pheba Newmark Set in Western Kentucky and Eastern Tennessee, in the backwoods of a rural country life among a people who take their lifestyle and bathroom etiquette seriously. Plumbing, not being a convenience for all in the southern United States, causes the people to resort to "natural remedies" which in turn led to a massive "snake attacks" to many some of which were trapped inside their "outhouses (not to be confused with the popular outhomes, featured in Suthern Livting, a magazine dedicated to the popular outhomes)" some for days awaiting help and rescue by the National Guard and Armed Forces. One spokesman for the Rescue Arm of the Military or R.A.M. stated that some of the 101st Airborne Division were sent in to provide assistance and armed resistance to the overwhelming community of snakes, the spokesman, however, Colonel D. "Little d" Arminhand chose to stay anonymous due to undercover operations of both he and General T.K. Charge whom also wanted to be unnamed, we do honour their anonyminity. It has long been our endeavour to allow those who request for no identification in reporting to do so, and thereby secure us a place in our reporting to the public at large, this is our position and we here at IPIGe (International Press in Generale) do confirm this message. One child was trapped inside an outhouse, whose region may not be disclosed, for hours until a paratrooper landed safely on the roof of the outhouse and secured the child to a lift rig and pulled her up to safety, unfortunately the parachutists slipped and fell into a vast amount raw dump but who fortunately was "yanked" out before being bitten a common timber "outhouse" rattler whose characteristics are to rattle their tale a few times before striking the host or victim in these cases. In an interview on a safe zone commonly referred to as the green zone on a nearby hill the chutists was noted as stating these snakes have a horendous smell that could intimidate even the bravest of men, Sgt. D. Une Thaat also wanted to remain unnamed which we always choose to honour. Little Jenny was scared as she said, "Out of my wits, snakes were everywhere, here there, everywhere I tell you, and I am so glad Sgt D.Une came to my rescue." It was not a pretty sight for this reporter to see "little Jenny" so frightened for what may be one of the most horrific outbreaks of snakes this reporter has ever heard in history or modern man, Jenny (real name Barbie Jeweled whom we will not name for her on security) still remains in a state of shock. The events of Jenny and countless others are to be shown in a newly released movie titled, "Snakes in an Outhouse, you will be scared out of your mind, not meant for the faint of heart or any of you with health problems that might react to this movie, a list of these health problems which the Federal Government has determined to be at risk in the viewing of this movie may be seen on the web site movie some of which are those, of course, heart problems, depression, psorasis, upset tummy, lovelorned, recently jilted or newly attached or looking, these are but a few the other list is located at the link above gosnakeouthouse above. Some of the pictures we will try to show below if the camera will hold under these stressed camermen. WARNING THESE ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. COMING SOON "SNAKES IN THE OUTFIELD" AND IT'S DOUBLE FEATURE "SNAKES ON A CRUISELINER" Brought to you by Sound Pictures Studios. DONATIONS FOR VICTIMS MAY BE PHONED IN AT 1-800-BR 549


SNAKES ON A PLANE IS CHILD'S PLAY, FEAR IS: SNAKES IN AN OUTHOUSE A SIGN OF THE TIMES AND THE EFFECTS OF SNAKERY WARNING! SNAKES RAMPAGE SEND AN ALREADY PANICKED PUBLIC TO STEAL AND EXPLOIT ALL PUBLIC,GOVERNMENT, AND PRIVATE BATHROOM FACILITIES TO BECOME ENDANGERED.As if the police department throughout the eastern Kentucky,Tennessee regions were not already deluged with problems of "search and rescue operations" now they must conduct their business elsewhere leaving an already vulnerable people at risk for further theivery as one officer described the situation. "This is an outrage, declared Captain B.N.Woody (name withheld due to request), I tell you it is nothing more than an outrage, and to be honest it's just plain theivery". When asked if we could quote the Captain he stated, "What Bill states is not to be quoted or printed in any form, as you can tell I'm mad man, really mad". Meanwhile, at the Federal level a commander in Homeland Security stated "We will get to the bottom of this and we do not take it lightly, fingerprints and eye laser recognition will be used and also in consideration are the much despised chip implant for entrance to all restrooms including the wooden outhouses so well known throughout the countryside will also be equipped with this same entrance technology." Stated Acting General N.Handitis who also asked not to be quoted as this was both a top priority and misson approved by both the Senate and Cogress and as well commisioned by the President himself, "This is not to be taken lightly we will get to the bottom of these outhouses and this problem of Snakes and the public which seems to have a real disregard for law and order, the US Airforce has done remarkable research on crowd control which is very possible in the near future to be both considered and put into action." quoted Gen.Handitis who also asked not to be quoted. As news develops we have this statement which has been received from the US Airforce and we will leave this statement to stand on it's own merits, this is oops sorry my name is withheld due to newspaper rules.NOW WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO USE CROWD CONTROL IN AMERICA, IS SOMETHING BEING PLANNED THAT WE ARE UNAWARE OF OR IS THIS JUST A WAY TO KEEP AMERICANS HAPPY WHILE THEY ARE BEING ZAPPED. IS THIS A "RED DAWN" SCENARIO IN THE MIX, OR ARE YOU BECOMING PARANOID? more answers? weapons touted for use on citizens Air Force secretary says they should be used for domestic crowd control Sept 12, 2006 WASHINGTON - Nonlethal weapons such as high-power microwave devices should be used on American citizens in crowd-control situations before they are used on the battlefield, the Air Force secretary said Tuesday.Domestic use would make it easier to avoid questions in the international community over any possible safety concerns, said Secretary Michael Wynne."If we’re not willing to use it here against our fellow citizens, then we should not be willing to use it in a wartime situation," said Wynne. "(Because) if I hit somebody with a nonlethal weapon and they claim that it injured them in a way that was not intended, I think that I would be vilified in the world press."The Air Force has funded research into nonlethal weapons, but he said the service isn’t likely to spend more money on development until injury issues are reviewed by medical experts and resolved.Nonlethal weapons generally can weaken people if they are hit with the beam. Some of the weapons can emit short, intense energy pulses that also can be effective in disabling some electronic devices.On another subject, Wynne said he expects to pick a new contractor for the next generation of aerial refueling tankers by next summer. He said a draft request for bids will be put out next month, and there are two qualified bidders: The Boeing Co. and a team of Northrop Grumman Corp. and European Aeronautic Defence and Space Co., the majority owner of European jet maker Airbus SAS.The contract is expected to be worth at least $20 billion.Chicago-based Boeing lost the tanker deal in 2004 amid revelations that it had hired a top Air Force acquisitions official who had given the company preferential treatment.Air Force tightens its beltWynne also said the Air Force, which is already chopping 40,000 active duty, civilian and reserves jobs, is now struggling to find new ways to slash about $1.8 billion from its budget to cover costs from the latest round of base closings.He said he can’t cut more people, and it would not be wise to take funding from military programs that are needed to protect the country. But he said he also encounters resistance when he tries to save money on operations and maintenance by retiring aging aircraft."We’re finding out that those are, unfortunately, prized possessions of some congressional districts," said Wynne, adding that the Air Force will have to "take some appetite suppressant pills." He said he has asked employees to look for efficiencies in their offices.The base closings initially were expected to create savings by reducing Air Force infrastructure by 24 percent.COMING SOON TO YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD AND WORKFORCE THE GOVERNMENT WILL USE THE HOMELAND SECURITY ACT AGAINST YOU AND YOUR NEIGHBOURS AND CO-WORKERS."It may seem cruel at first but we will cut the people if we have to we don't want to but make no doubt cut them we will, if we will cut our own we'll cut others as well all we really need is a few good men/women to get the cutting done." stated Mr. Whinee who asked not to be quoted. "People with pacemakers and other health devices should not be in the public arena nor on our highways and this "raygun" will make them and their autos know we intend to attack and kill the tyranny of Snakes wherever we might find them whether in real time or fictious, snakes are mean and their dangerous, and they smell awful" ended the quote of Mr. Whinne."I believe history will reflect that that which I have done I have done for the benefit of the whole world and in the end I will be vilified and loved by the world, this bud is for you", ADOLF HITLER 1940


MAN'S CONTORTED FACE - WARNING NOT FOR THE WEEK OF HEART I now realize what was being told me was true these snake attacks are real and unless you have been in an outhouse in Tennessee or Kentucky you have no idea how severe this can become. Snakes are sneaky, boy, and they will bite you whether you have business to conduct or not I am one of the lucky ones but there are others in much worse condition than me.... unnamed source.. a Mr. Davix Gatt Bitt ... name withheld upon personal request. Brother, can you lend a dime is the most that he can request today if you are one of the fortunate ones then visit the website - snakes are real, they're mean and they're back. This man was, unfortunately, attacked by the rare "Twistsnake" which many to their own demise and disfigurment confuse for a rope or dreadlocks. Currently under facial reconstruction, Dr. Una Dunlift (name withheld upon request) stated it may take years and tons of money to fund and research to undo what this "ropesnake" has done to this poor victim, but endeavour I shall because I care and some times well, it just takes a village, ya know.

Sunday, August 19, 2007


Summer, and what a summer it would be. Tidda bounced about the yard enjoying the sunshine that the good LORD had made, and as she bounced not only could you see a gleam in her eyes, but it was her chance to prove she could dance to the rays of the sun, and dance she did. This was going to be "the summer" the one she had waited for the whole year long, spring was extremely rough as it tagged between warm and cool, and not much fit for people or puppies, but that was spring and now summer had finally arrived. With a heart as big as her eyes, which some time were hid by a shabby hair cut, she would set out this summer with a brand new outlook of life, she was going to serve her fellow kingdom mates irregardless of whom that would be. So the day came when Mom let her run the outside and run she did. First to smell the flowers which had came into bloom and were stretching with all their might as if they were going to touch the sun himself. Tidda began to think, "I know, The flowers would love to have some fresh water and after all she had a very shiny, deep, blue and pink bowl that had just been cleaned and filled with crisp,cool, water - not just any water, you know, she demanded the best bottled water there was and these were the days before it was announced that the cola companies had only provided "tap water" for filtered, spring water, but no matter the flowers needed water and she was to the rescue. The shiny, baby-blue and pink bowl was just a tiny bit bigger than Tida and she jumped in with not just both feet, but her entire body, and wouldn't you know it in a matter of minutes she was soaking, soping wet, from her cool,damp nose to her slightly dingy toes, soiled by the dirt found beneath the cool green grass as she had danced and frolicked among the flowers and rocks and lime color grass. Oh, what a joyous day, it was beautiful and she was having a great time. All soaked from her head to her toes Tidda ran to the flowers and began to shake, and she shook and shook and wet all the flowers but it still did not seem to be enough, so back to the shiny blue-pink she pounced and bounce straight into the bowl this time falling head first and falling beneath the water, indeed this time she was drenched, quickly raising her head up for air she pondered, "I was soaked, and then I was,"soping" wet, and now I am drenched, my flower friends should love this. Being but a puppy she did not quite realize how "not" to deliver her now dripping body water to her friends. "This time I'll really get you wet" exclaimed Tida, as she ran and dove straight into the mist of the trees. All of a sudden, a quick flapping and beating of wings took to flight as the butterflies, bees, and yes even a couple of finch and hummingbird lifted up their wings being suddenly startled and frightened. Oh No! Exclaimed Tidda, I am so sorry, now realizing that she had not only frightened momentarily all of her other friends but she had in the process of wanting to get water to the "flower buddies" had bent them out of shape. Tida began to cry and whimpered, I'm sssoo ssorry, tears flowing across her tiny nose, and falling down on petals of low lying moss flower." "Tidda, please don't cry" said Hummy the Hummingbird, "No Tidda, don't cry we are merely bent" echoed, Daisy who spoke boldly for the flowers. "We are all fine in fact we are dandy, and this small bend will only make us stronger as we bask in the glory of the yellow-orange rays of the sun, please don't cry, and please don't stop doing good we need you." As a small poppy petal brushed away her tear and Pop said, "There, There, Tida no damage done, continue your summer of bliss, my child." "Thank you Poppie, and I am really sorry but I will, I will continue doing good", "That a girl, Tida," stated Rose as she gently brushed Tida's whitish gray hair with her sweet perfume, And oh how nice you smell Tidda, please continue your journey of doing well to others and all there are so few that do so today." A few days went by and there was no sign of Tidda, and then one noon day she came bouncing out of the house and was so amazed at the flower party, they were all standing straight and much taller than she, and now they extended themselves away up into the air and there was once or twice Tidda thought they were actually touching the clouds and the sun. "You all look beautiful" exclaimed a very obviously relieved Tidda. "And we owe it all to you stated Poppie," yes echoed daisy, "The water, and the bend made us so strong thanks Tida for your love and concern. Tidda felt much better now and she set about to find her good deed for the day and actually for the week she did not come out to play. Just at that moment as time would have it worked out, Tidda saw Christian backing down the driveway and going toward the street, and began to run and yelp to the top of her lungs, Christian noticing that she was getting to close to her car yelled, "Tidda get away from my car and quit that barking have you gone mad?" and pulling over she placed the car in Park and pulled on the Emergency Brake. "I should wear you out Tidda you could have made me wreck or run over you, you have to stop this even if I have to lock you up in your room" stated Christian visibly angry and upset. Christian picked up Tidda and took her to her room and locked the door, "Maybe now you will understand to stay away from moving objects, especially so, when they are bigger than you" stated Christian. Christian left to go to her car and noticed behind her car a little boy no more than 2 year old and she panicked and began to cry as she picked up the little child and hugged and kissed him for what seemed and hour but it was only a few minutes, tears running down upon the little boy's face as Christian cried and wept-realizing but for the grace of God and a yelping Tidda she would have hurt the child terribly and would never have forgiven herself. Shaken she returned John to his home where his mother was frantically trying to find him, "I just went to shut off the stove, and turned and little John was gone." As Christian rolled out the story of what had just happened, both she and Jane began to cry, fully realizing that if it had not been for God and a little yelping puppy named Tidda, things would have been much, much worse and different. As Christian went back into the house she had a much different outlook and opinion of Tida whom now had heard the door open and was shivering in fear of Christian might be very mad. "Oh Tida, I am so sorry, cried Christian and this time the tears were of joy and embarrassment as she continued apologizing to Tidda. Time passed and all seemed well in Tidda's world as once again she was bouncing in the outdoors and having such a wonderful time, when she happened to bounce upon Mr. Greely a neighbourhood grouch of a snake. "Where are you going Tidda" exclaimed the slithery Mr.Greely. Oh I'm just walking around the neighbourhood and trying to find more good deeds and being helpful to everyone. "Why don't you follow me down to the old Stimpson place, and we can find someone to help" said Mr. Greely choking behind his ever so sly half grin. "No I am not allowed to go there," Mr Greely, "It is off limits and no one lives there." "I thought your Mom stated you could not go anywhere in the neighbourhood" snapped, Greely. "No she said I could go anywhere in the neighbourhood" infered Tida. "Well I happen to know that "it" is anywhere and there is someone there that only you could help, but I suppose that you don't help everyone just those you like and probably are related." "You're wrong Mr,Greely show me this one that needs help" said Tidda, "And you'll see, I'll help them also." "Brave talk Tidda but I think this time you have met your match and won't be able to help this one" hissed Mr. Greely. The old house was run down and it's boards, at least those that were standing, were rotting and falling apart as they crumbled beneath the feet as Tida would try in vain to step over them, they were dull and their color was masked with green moss and unfortunately thought Tidda not the pretty kind of moss but a decaying brownish-green. She had never noticed this house being so run down nor had she noticed Mr.Greely slithering into a ball-like of curls, "Where is the one you were talking about Mr.Greely, I see no one." panted Tida, now dripping moisture from her lips as she realized she should not have come to this place. "You're the one", hissed Greely, "And I told you, you would not be able to help Ms.Dooogoooder ssss" and lurching backward as to withdraw himself, he plunged forcefully forward with all his might, his teeth gleeming in the sunlight as two sharp prongs which had been tonged to razor sharp, striking Tida upon her right leg, and sending forth an excruciating loud yelp which erupted into a very intense bark. Numbing pain pounded again and again as Tidda braced herself against Mr. Greely, "Why did you do that, what did I or have I ever done to you?" "You are a goody two-shoes and thats all I need to know you stupid pup, after all, I'm a snake." hissed Mr.Greely. For the first time in her life Tidda bear her teeth and growled the growl that sent fear into Greely, and upon hearing Christian and Jonathan running toward him he raced off into the grass with only a patch here and there showing his movement. As Christian saw him slither away she grabbed Tidda into her arms and ran for the car, Johathan pursued with keys in hand and they began to drive Tida to the emergency room where nurse Ashley and Chandler rushed her into Dr.Larry's operating table. It's strange thought Tidda just a few days ago that car was almost involved in hurting little John but now it was used to try to save a life, and she passed into darkness. Dr. Larry's expertise was really with larger animals, horses and the like and he buzzed another surgeon ready to go home with the emergency. Dr Kathy came into the room and attached a small tube to Tidda's leg, one to drain the poison, and the other for pain and nourishment. After hours under watch and surgery and not knowing how Tidda would survive or heal, the two doctors decided to let Tidda go home and that the familiarity of home might encourage Tidda to get well-it was indeed a long shot, but it was the only hope. Daily, Jonathan, Jan the neighbour, and Christian would meet more than 3 or 4 times a day and would pray and use anointing oil in hopes that God would spare this little one who had touched so many hearts. Tears flowed often over the next few days as Tidda did not seem to get any better. Christian took her out daily among the flowers so that if she could she would smell the flowers of summer and hear the chirping of the birds, strangely though the yard was quite as was the neighbourhood for all had come to love the little puppy who cared too much. Finally in the 7th Month and the 7th day there was a whimper, and a long sigh, and Tidda bounced out of Christian's arms onto the yard and began to run and play, bouncing again among all her friends and family and little Jonathan, rolling over the lime green grass and ever sniffing of the rose and poppy, as tears of joy flowed now from the eyes of all even ole deep-voiced Poppie, who exclaimed, "I don't think she's a puppy that cares too much, I think we care much for the puppy. In a few moments Jerry came driving up the drive in his truck to inquire of Tidda's health, "It's too bad", he said, "but as I was coming up the road something slithered in front of my front wheel and I could not stop in time, it was Mr.Greely" and you know it probably would not have happened if Tidda had been there to warn him, after all She is indeed a puppy that cares much.
From the tales of Tidda, "THE PUPPY THAT CARED TOO MUCH" by IRI PRESS and PUBLISHING Look for the companion book "LUCKY a Dog and His Food"