WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING-WARNING The mouse cried because of the snake,and the snake came to see the mouse,horror,chills,thrills,not for the faint of heart or those with headaches,upset stomach,uncut fingernails,room unclean, etc..., THEY'RE BACK AND THEY ARE REALLY MEAN VILE CREATURES OF TERROR.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007


EXCLUSIVE REPORT FOUND ONLY BY THE IRI REPORTER TEAMS - EXPOSED - PEPSI/COCA-COLA TELL ALL IN A NEW REPORT - WILL SUE THE 54 STATES OF AMERICA FOR LOST REVENUE OF TAPWATER IRI FIELD REPORTER, Behn Haidd Pepsi's Aquafina and Coca-Cola Co's Dasani are both made from purified water sourced from public reservoirs, as opposed to Danone's Evian or Nestle's Poland Spring, so-called "spring waters," shipped from specific locations the companies say have notably clean water. Coca-Cola Co. told Reuters it will start posting online information about the quality control testing it performs on Dasani by the end of summer or early fall. "Concerns about the bottled-water industry, and increasing corporate control of water, are growing across the country," said Gigi Kellett, director of the "Think Outside the Bottle" campaign, which aims to encourage people to drink tap water. San Francisco's mayor banned city employees from using city funds to buy bottled water when tap water is available. Ann Arbor, Michigan passed a resolution banning commercially bottled water at city events and Salt Lake City, Utah asked department heads to eliminate bottled water. In 1976, the average American drank 1.6 gallons of bottled water a year, according to Beverage Marketing Corp. Last year, we each drank 28.3 gallons of bottled water--18 half-liter bottles a month. We drink more bottled water than milk, or coffee, or beer. Only carbonated soft drinks are more popular than bottled water, at 52.9 gallons annually.... We buy bottled water because we think it's healthy. Which it is, of course: Every 12-year-old who buys a bottle of water from a vending machine instead of a 16-ounce Coke is inarguably making a healthier choice. But bottled water isn't healthier, or safer, than tap water. Indeed, while the United States is the single biggest consumer in the world's $50 billion bottled-water market, it is the only one of the top four--the others are Brazil, China, and Mexico--that has universally reliable tap water. Tap water in this country, with rare exceptions, is impressively safe. It is monitored constantly, and the test results made public. Mineral water has a long association with medicinal benefits--and it can provide minerals that people need--but there are no scientific studies establishing that routinely consuming mineral water improves your health. The FDA, in fact, forbids mineral waters in the United States from making any health claims. And for this healthy convenience, we're paying what amounts to an unbelievable premium. You can buy a half- liter Evian for $1.35--17 ounces of water imported from France for pocket change. That water seems cheap, but only because we aren't paying attention. In San Francisco, the municipal water comes from inside Yosemite National Park. It's so good the EPA doesn't require San Francisco to filter it. If you bought and drank a bottle of Evian, you could refill that bottle once a day for 10 years, 5 months, and 21 days with San Francisco tap water before that water would cost $1.35. Put another way, if the water we use at home cost what even cheap bottled water costs, our monthly water bills would run $9,000. Taste, of course, is highly personal. New Yorkers excepted, Americans love to belittle the quality of their tap water. But in blind taste tests, with waters at equal temperatures, presented in identical glasses, ordinary people can rarely distinguish between tap water, springwater, and luxury waters. At the height of Perrier's popularity, Bruce Nevins was asked on a live network radio show one morning to pick Perrier from a lineup of seven carbonated waters served in paper cups. It took him five tries. The label on a bottle of Fiji Water says "from the islands of Fiji." Journey to the source of that water, and you realize just how extraordinary that promise is. From New York, for instance, it is an 18-hour plane ride west and south (via Los Angeles) almost to Australia, and then a four-hour drive along Fiji's two-lane King's Highway. Every bottle of Fiji Water goes on its own version of this trip, in reverse, although by truck and ship. In fact, since the plastic for the bottles is shipped to Fiji first, the bottles' journey is even longer. Half the wholesale cost of Fiji Water is transportation--which is to say, it costs as much to ship Fiji Water across the oceans and truck it to warehouses in the United States than it does to extract the water and bottle it. That is not the only environmental cost embedded in each bottle of Fiji Water. The Fiji Water plant is a state-of-the-art facility that runs 24 hours a day. That means it requires an uninterrupted supply of electricity--something the local utility structure cannot support. So the factory supplies its own electricity, with three big generators running on diesel fuel. The water may come from "one of the last pristine ecosystems on earth," as some of the labels say, but out back of the bottling plant is a less pristine ecosystem veiled with a diesel haze. Each water bottler has its own version of this oxymoron: that something as pure and clean as water leaves a contrail. courtesy: IRI-Reporter Benn Haid: Thank you for this exclusive interview, could you state for the record what your position is with the Coki-Pepsy companies? Rep. Wana Slurrp: I am employed by both companies to intermidate between the press and my representatives, a sort of liasion. IRI: For this interview may we call you Wana? Also we notice your lawsuit is against the 54 states, but isn't it true that currently there are only 52? Wanta: I do not want my name disclosed so instead of Wana you may call me Wanta. And yes, it is true, there are only 52 states currently, but if the weapons issue gets settled we do anticipate the emergence of Mexico and Canada to join the statehood of America and we must name them as we pursue the lawsuit against all peoples of the United States or we will lose them and billions of dollars. IRI: Do you expect a government bailout much like that of the Crysler Corporation? Do you have any plans to amend or correct the problem at hand of purification of your bottled waters? Wanta: Yes, we hope for the bailout as we do furnish the halls of Congress,Senate, and the White House with our great products, however we will have to pursue the lawsuit as a means to an end. No, We will not make our bottling plants into a purification plant that would take a few thousand dollars and disrupt the amount of bonuses issued in rank ( I noted she did not say rank and file ), instead we plan to market the drinks now as having gone through a purfication system and that our waters are cold. IRI: Would that not be a fabrication, er, a lie to state that your product has gone through a purification system? Will you be changing the familiar logos of the products and colors? Wanta: No, it is not a lie, as the city in which we bottle the water does have a purification system for tapwater which is what we now use and will continue to use - we have of course adopted a new logo - YOU DRINK- WE MAKE MORE - a very catchy phrase don't you think? Yes, We will change the color to a type of lime yellow slight tan color to emphasize our service to the people, after all, it's the little people and the little drinkers that make up our customers, of which we are sincerely thankful they like good water. IRI: If you are so thankful do you not think you owe the "little people" more of a "pure" state of water as perhaps with charcoal or maybe one of the "pur" attachments to the tap of the faucets where your employees "man" the water fill tanks? Wanta: We do not have "employees" just this one elderly, slightly crippled Mexican worker who cannot understand english or how much we pay him, we are able to save money this way and pass it on to the consumer which has been affected by the huge increase of oil in this country, now there is your story. The "pur" system you speak of cost about $29.95, and we have appealed to the makers of the system to see if our companies can secure a much more reasonable price this is ridiculously high. IRI: You only use one faucet and you think this is too high? Do you not think that you are violating the law by hiring illegal workers? Wanta: One "pur" at $29.95 makes a difference on Wall Street and we must be about the business of saving and making money, and No this gentleman is not illegal as we have given him both a name and his very own number which makes him feel right at home in America. IRI: I want to thank you for this exclusive interview and would you mind giving us a ballpark figure of how much you are being paid? Wanta: Your welcome and again do not use my name, and we here at the company do not have any secrets or anything to hide-this is our new slogan- and I am making 1.75 million dollars per 6 months with a contract running for three years. How do you like that for a slogan? IRI: I think Americans will love the slogan and contiue to buy your product, again I thank you. Wanta: You kidding, they do not have a choice we own all the space for bottled water in all the machines in every business, government or no, of course they'll like the slogan and drink the water-this isn't Mexico yet-Hey,don't drink the water-ha,ha. Do come back and have a great day.

Monday, July 30, 2007


EARLY HUMANS FORESEE GLOBAL WARMING AND DECIDE TO WALK ON "TWO LEGS" INSTEAD OF FOUR TO SAVE ENERGY AND THE ENVIROMENT Why do humans walk on two legs? To save energy By Michael Kanellos, Staff Writer, CNET Four legs are good--but two legs are more energy-efficient, theorizes a researcher at the University of California at Davis. For some, walking on two legs consumes less energy than walking on all fours, according to a paper from UC Davis. The findings may help explain why human ancestors evolved into bipeds 10 million years ago. The study--which compared data from humans and specially trained chimps on treadmills--found that humans used about 75 percent less energy and burned 75 percent fewer calories than walking on all fours or two legs for chimpanzees, according to the report. Interestingly enough, some of the chimps in the experiment--who were taught to walk on two legs and to "knucklewalk"--also did better on two legs. For three chimps, bipedalism consumed more energy than walking on all fours. One chimp, however, expended as much energy walking on four legs as two legs, and one other chimp consumed less energy walking upright. "We were prepared to find that all of the chimps used more energy walking on two legs--but that finding wouldn't have been as interesting. What we found was much more telling," Andrew Sockol, a Ph.D. candidate in anthropology at UC Davis, said in a statement. "This isn't the complete answer, but it's a good piece of a puzzle humans have always wondered about: How and why did we become human? And why do we alone walk on two legs?" The researchers also found that, for some of the chimps, walking on two legs required no more energy than knucklewalking. These two chimps also had different gaits and anatomy than the others. Their anatomy and skeletal characteristics, in fact, were similar to early hominid fossils that allowed for greater extension of the hind limb. Sockol studied the biomechanics and oxygen consumption of specially trained chimps on a treadmill. While the chimps worked out, the scientists collected metabolic and kinetic data as well as information on oxygen consumption. The same data was gathered for human subjects. Fossil and molecular evidence suggests that climate changes in equatorial Africa some 8 million to 10 million years ago prompted a change in human evolution. The area had been forested, but began to become drier. This may have increased the distance between food patches. This would have forced early hominids to travel longer distances. Those that used less energy had an advantage. The research appears this week in the online early edition of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America. FOR MORE INFO SEE: SCIENTISTS DISCOVER HUMANS HAVE TWO LEGS. FOUND AT:

Sunday, July 22, 2007


INTERVIEWS - BECAUSE WE CAN THE INTERVIEW NO ONE ELSE COULD DO NOR ATTAIN ONLY ON THE MOUSE CRIED, CAN THIS INTERVIEW BE FOUND - THE WILLIE O'REALLY CHRONICLES - BIO: Height: 7'8" Weight: Feather Married: To himself Age: Never ages - put simply, I refuse to age Personal Description: I'll fight any person, man,woman,or child, irregardless of their age or handicap.Who I would like to meet: My twin as long as we were identical in every aspect including thoughts and extreme intelligence which I possess.Willie O'Really: Welcome to "my" show.Interviewer: Thank you Willie, it is indeed an honour and privilege to sit across from someonelike yourself.WOR: I know, it must make you feel good.I.: There are reports that you had made a statement in the past, to the effect, that you do notbelieve that God created man but that God created evolution, is there any truth to the rumour?WOR: Allow me to state now and get this clear or I will rip your head clean off your shoulders you see, I was the bully in my school, no one told me what to do. The subject I do notwant to talk about is "that" woman and her allegations that I made any sexual advances toward her and I did not make sensual comments on the phone to her.I.: That is not in our questioning today Mr.Oreally, what our viewers want to know is that if youmade the statement that God created evolution, but did not create mankind, but that manevolved through the Primordial sludge that is called "evolution"? Did you make such astatement?WOR: The court records are sealed and a settlement was reached outside of the court, andneither she nor myself are allowed to talk about the settlement. I said some thingsto her that if the common joe were to read he may think I did something wrong,but hewould be wrong. And just to set the record straight, I'll fight anyone,no matter their sizeor age, at any time or any place, because I am not afraid of anyone and I am smarter thanthe average bear, and Einstein has nothing on me, so make my day, PUNK!I.: I don't want to fight Willie, I just want to complete this interview, Was it true that you statedthat you did not want any emails,telephone calls, letters concerning the Genesis chapters 1-6and how you do not think they were legitimate and from God Himself, and if anyone emailedyou, you would put a permanent block on their email? And if you did make such a comment then why did you bring up the subject matter of Genesis to start with? Was it as many have alleged that you do this to anger your viewers and you think angry viewers will continue watching your show?WOR: She asked for it, I mean her tight skirt, skimpy shorts, tight blouses, but did I give in"?NO. I ignored her like the plague. There were times, however, that I had and would callher at home, just to see if she liked the show and what there was about old masculineWillie she liked the most. I can and am allowed to say this much - I hate and detest anyone who use a tape recorder - Willie crys "foul" or "fowl" or "foal" every which way youwould choose to spell it. I am after all the smartest man on earth, and I'll meet you in thealley and give you a what for.I.: Willie, I am glad we had a chance to conduct this interview, and I thank you for being themost gracious host that you think you are.WOR: Anytime, I just want to get the truth out and you must admit that I and only I know whatGod wrote and would not write. I'll tell you what though, just between you and me shewas a sexy thing and she did love her Willie no matter how many times she stated NOand STOP after all NO is really a YES to Ol Willie Oreally. You want to fight?I.: Uh, No thanks, and thank you for the interview.WOR: Coward, Chicken, cluck,cluck,cluck.


SQUIRRELS ACCUSED OF SPYING ON IRAN TO BE INTERROGATED (US HAS APPEALED UNTO THE UNITED NATIONS TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE TREATED WITH GENEVA CONVENTION AND NOT STRIPPED AND POSED WITH) By Ali Arouzi, NBC News Producer You can tell that Iran is feeling a little beleaguered these days when there are reports that Tehran may be under attack from rodents! That is what the official Islamic Republic News Agency reported this week, that police had, ahem, "arrested" 14 squirrels on charges of espionage. The rodents were found near the Iranian border, allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices, according to IRNA. When asked to confirm the story, Esmaeel Ahmadi Moghadam, the national police chief, said, "I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information." He declined to give any more details. IRNA said that the squirrels were discovered by intelligence services – but were captured by police officers several weeks ago. 'Are you serious?'The reaction to the report on Tehran’s streets was varied – from disbelief to assigning guilt for the alleged infraction. "No, I had not heard about this, but it does not surprise me, foreign countries are always meddling in Iran," said Hassan Mohmmadi, a fast-food vendor.Mohammadi asked me if I knew where the squirrels were from, and I told him that I didn’t know. Then he came to his own conclusions. "I bet they were British squirrels, they are the most cunning," he replied. Meantime, an independent journalist, Sepher Sopli, was not surprised by the idea that another country would spy on Iran, so much as he was dumbfounded by their methods. "I read this story in the papers and though it was very bizarre; what struck me as odd was that in this age of modern technology, people were relying on squirrels to do their spying," Sopli said. But, the report was still strange enough to surprise. "That's very funny, but you’re not serious are you?" said Soraya Jafari, a student in Tehran. Maybe not a firstEspionage not entirely foreign to animals. If true, this would not be the first time animals have been used for military endeavors. During World War II, Allied forces used pigeons to fly vital intelligence out of occupied France. More recently, U.S. Marines stationed in Kuwait trained chickens for a low-tech chemical detection system. It’s also well documented that dolphins have been used to seek out underwater mines. Spying is something that is taken seriously in any country, especially in a place like Iran, where numerous squirrels are currently being held on charges of espionage. Still, the squirrels that breached the Iranian border carrying sensitive spying equipment must have been nuts. TELL US YOUR VIEWS WE WANT TO KNOW * "This is great atrocity and demeaning to the squirrel society at large and we demand their immediate release and all their belongings be returned unto them, including any and all nuts that were confiscated from them" ...Imma Frogge, The PATA Foundation of North America * "Squirrels have rights also and they should not be harmed or "angel-cuffed", I am on record as opposing any and all rubber hose techniques being in any way implemented or used in the interrogation of these members of society" .........US Congresswoman Hilarity Clinkus * "A fund has been arrainged for these poor defensless creatures and hopefully any prosthesis they may need as well as monthly sustance allowance upon their freedom." ....Walter Reed spokesman.......Bandm Uppl * "These "squirrels" as they are being called and not being addressed by their names, do not and did not carry nor hide any weapons of mass destruction and the allegations are not true that they were given night vision goggles or bullet proof vests, the burden of proof lays at the feet of President Ahmadenjad and his compatriates to prove his allegations and not the disappearance of many nuts as he has claimed." ......VP Dak Chinney * "I have alway maintained that the government is secretly using animals and insects to conduct both espionage and spying techniques across a broad spectrum of life and doing so without Constitutional authority and the Homeland Security Act, What do you think they use the V- Chip for? entertainment? don't be fooled." .....Ahllx Jhons * "In my day, at dar twelth gaugged shatgun, ant a swaller or two of thet ther shine, thet hold sqirl wult haf been dumlin fer de chiltren, youse kno wot I meant?"....Kentuck Woodsmen BobJoe Dunkiltit * "Squirrels have been found to emit 02 gases by their constant swinging from tree to tree and have caused the melting of ice trays set out of the refrigerators, and made bad milk go worse. We must explore what they are doing to the Polar Bunnies who cannot fly or swing from trees and then maybe we can understand why planes take off from the ground instead of in the air which is where they wind up being after take off, but I can't seem to get the media focused on the problems they are to busy chasing after Peris Hiding - uh, Hilden. Soon my new movie will be released, which I hope you will get all your neighbours to watch also and it will be titled, "Groundless Flight Airlines and Quick Trays:the melting of the cube.?".......Pal Bore

Friday, July 20, 2007

NUNS AGAINST GREEN OR NAG by YeSiam Pennit special report

THE TULLA-TELLA NEWS TullaTella County News Flashed Friday, July 20, 2007 5:46:27 PM Nuns with guns? Farmer Ina Tiller (name withheld per request) stated, "They came out of nowhere with dem big black shoes and stamping on my greend beans, tomatoe plantes, knockin over my corn plants and stripping themed ears, I coulnt git near em cause dey had guns, and one of dem kept hollerin Jenit Reeno, I wast scart out of my wits." It is true they have begun a terror campaign overlooked by the present administration and are creating a wave of violent "stomping" as they term it to make a statement it seems of their plight and condition, one thing is for sure they are dangerous and armed. When we interviewed their leader a Ms Smakle Urhan,(name withheld by request) she stated, "We are sick and tired of this color green and how much evil influence it has in the world" "Do I detect a little "green" envy?" stated this reporter YeSiam Pennit "Do I detect someone with a red hand" countered the Ms Urhan, "Uh, I'm really sorry" stated YeSiam. Ms Urhan: "No, We are not envious but you answer this question why do some have so much green while others have so little, and when we see these fields with so much green well, it just infuriates us, I mean we get very angry." "What we need in this country are folks who are dedicated to changing the landscape colors of America, I mean whats wrong with black and white - we don't have a problem with that". YeSiam: But you are all Nuns, correct? Why do you want people to see you in this light, I mean don't you want to do the old addage of "do good unto others" or something like that? And by the way what is the name of your group? Ms Urhan: Yes, were Nuns you got a problem with that? We are doing good don't you believe that the green should be contributed among all and that each have more, you act as though were trying to rid the world of green, that is not the case.Our name or tag is Nuns Against Green or as you would probably refer to it as NAG or if it makes you feel better Nuns and Guns or again NAG, and I suppose you have a problem with that, don't you? What are you doing about all the green? Do you not care that some have only Yellow or Blue or Red or other colors? What exactly are you doing about it all? YeSiam: Whoa slow down. No I don't have a problem with your group or any thing you are doing but why stomp the farmers produce which he uses to feed the world? Ms Urhan: O yes, he'll feed the world and give the poor saps enough food to keep their miserable souls alive but he won't give them any green, maybe yellow, red or orange but not green, O no he won't share or part with the green therefore he must be made to do so and maybe at the cost of his precious little farm of oppression. YeSiam: Perhaps you are right, I mean, you do have the guns. Ms Urhan: Here is a song that may make you understand our plight a little better.
Excuse me dear lady, I seem to forget was it your table or another of which I did sit? My memory stirs not as I seek to find the place of presence in my mind. Perhaps if we talk - a little chat - I shall remember the table where I should have sat. Allow me the converstation my lady I urge you for many questions have I of which I wish to persue. Overlook dear lady the questions from my mind, Its so sad but I fear I am childish and immature most of the time. Choose a color from the rainbow and the Earth below and tell me the one you least like to behold, perhaps it's black or not as deep as a brown which you least know? Sir, might I call you friend, but I am afraid your question distrubs me so. Ask of any guest and they'll tell you I love all all colors even to the rainbow. I judge you not dear princess for I knew you all along. I know you enjoy the grey and black and equal too, showing no lack. You know me well good man and you seem to understand, But there is a quality in black and brown, good sir, it reminds one of dirt and an earthy ground. And green and red are gorgeous and pleasant I find, my friends wear them so well and sadly better than I most of the time. Yellow is adorable and feels comfortable witn me often I adorn myself with colors of these And my good sir when I wish to feel as a child as yourself, I am most pure and innocent in white. Yes indeed-yes-yes indeed I love all colors good man. and tell me, Oh yes, before our converstaion must end - of which of these do you hold in demand? Good lady so innocent we were you and I as a child I do remember now, before our chat became so wild, of which table I did belong or perhaps I knew all along. It was a good talk we've had and to leave you makes me very sad. Of all the colors we spoke I must say I too share them all some I have enjoyed less and some even more than I saw. Choose for me not green and address me not with red, hold for me blue, yes I think blue, maybe for evening chats a touch of yellow too. I mix well with yellow and blue and I must share my secret I like green I do. Now I see my table that I couldn't see before, It's hue is clear and it's still quite far. Farewell dear lady I must leave you behind your much to old for me and I'm still quiet childish in my mind.
YeSiam: I don't know it may seem old fashioned but don't you think people feel better about green if they work for it - I mean would they not appreciate it more? Urhan: Perhaps, but what do I care if they appreciate it more what is that to me, the only thing we are asking is share the green and put out the cat, the mouse is wild and his tail can be seen. Take that to your government icons and chew on the fat awhile. Yesiam: Thanks for the interview.


IRI NEWS BRIEFS/THE WORLD AROUND YOU IRI NEWS BREAK 47 Minutes ago IRI Staff Reporters: Hoosa R. Spansible Jorga Van Detta Bulletin Release... AMIA On behalf of the American Mexican in America, We would like to express our deep concern of extreme prejudice and on-going harrassment in the streets of this nation. We will list and read our concerns and may take questions afterward. First, it has come to our attention that the Mexican community, which language we hope to amend, have been the recipitents of such deragatory remarks as, Are you Mexican when filling out forms and also referred to as such in the news media and the media at large being affiliated with television, movies and the like. Since being Mexican and referred to as such has brought disgrace upon our name we are hereby electing to change the status quo and become known as, AmericanChalleged until such time as we occupy the states which would be legally entitled to the government of Mexico and those states are, Texas, California, Florida, Arizona, Utah, Ohio, Nevada and New York. There may be more to add to the list but for now these will suffice. Schedule A Second, We have applied with the Americans With Disability Act to have a new list placed underneath that framework to include both legal and illegal Mexican workers and laborers under the title of "AmericaChallenged" which would only apply to those stated workers as listed. We ask for compensation for our work involved in jobs which citizens of the United States will not do either due to a lazy attitude or worse yet "apathy". We are asking for educational rights for our peoples and their families both in America and Mexico and an eight year per individual payment schedule, including their dependants, irregardless of age, housing and food and electrical/water provision under such educational benefits be inclusive also. We wish for the AC to attend the school(s) of their choice, especially in the fields of computerization and literature and law. Schedule B Third, We have asked for recompensation for work accomplished in America for each adult and child in the amounts of 2.5 million dollars and for those whom are wrongfully called illegal and/or Mexican and additional .5 million to become the added sum of 3 million dollars. We also are asking for an additional 1 Trillion dollars to be place in the AMIA funds to help legally protect and secure the rights for all of the AmericaChallenged (AC) as noted in Schedule B. Fourth, We are asking for the resignation of 2/3 of the Congress and Senate to be replaced, rightfully so, with the AC we will designate at a later date. Fifth, We are asking that all signs, restaurants, public and private arenas to be establish with only the language of the Mexican dialect. Sixth, We are asking for the removal of all Italian meeting houses, public forums to be abolished and hopefully, soon be deported back to Italy as they have taken up a mockery of our organizations namesake AMIA and have used such derogatory terms as "Mama amia" which we will not tolerate. Seventh, We are asking the USC (united states citizens) to tolerate our influence in this country until such time as lineage can be traced as to where each citizen and their country origin may be located. Eightth, We are asking for the removal through retirement etc..., of 2/3 of all school teachers and government workers and replacement with AC workers this also would apply to all business public or private and 501C groups as to incorporate a more diverse look in the American picture. Ninth, We are asking that any future terrorists bombings, destructions etc..., be done against only those in America who use the title of United States Citizens and that the group AC be not targeted or injured in any way. Tenth, We are asking that the timetable for a terrorist hit or attack be moved up 3-4 weeks to the last week of July 2007 and again only against the USC. We do not feel these demands to be exorberant and/or demanding and now we will "field" any questions you may have. Sir, IRI staff here, Who is your President at the AMIA? AMIA: ElPresidente Vincynthia Fox and we would also like to advise you not to get out of your seat during questioning session as you may be replaced.

Thursday, July 12, 2007


IRI NEWS BRIEFS AND BULLETINS FROM THE IRI DESK AND REPORTER TEAMS OF BEHN HAIDD AND YeSiam Pennit IRI News Brief/a publication of watching you watching us Thursday, July 12, 2007 45 minutes ago NEWS BRIEFS/BULLETINS * Mikel ShirtOff reveals terrorist attack may occur by the end of summer....To meet today with the President over concerns of leak and possible attack.....President expresses concern over Americans anticipation of fear and intimidation of terrorists moves attacks up 3 - 4 weeks...... * Pope's condemnation of Protestant Churches not going to heaven sparks new war moves by the IRA block and the Orange society Ireland braces for war while the President of the US makes plans to send another 100,000 US troops to Ireland.... * Eastern Orthodox Catholic Church decries Pope's message and begins move to separate once again from the Vatican Enclave... * Mexico and Canada visibly shaken by the recent vote of Congress and Senate to insure the right of gun owners to keep ownership and purchases out of the hands of the police, will withdraw from becoming the 53rd and 54th states to the United States.... * Mexico to Canada Superhighway plans put on hold...due to withdrawl concerns of the statehood into America....Road Czar to the SuperCollider Highway F.Latey Chancer stated, "We were running into Natural Habitat problems concerning the land Snail Darter and were being sued by the ItsMyPet Foundation so it is probably a good idea to cool it for now and let calmer minds prevail....."This is all ridiculous", stated a very miffed President Bush, "As if moving the terrorist's plan to hit America ahead 4 weeks isn't enough of a problem, now I have to babysit the whiners of Mexico and Canada, you would think they could get a grip." "I am extremely miffed and do not care who knows it"..... * CDC maintains no crucial evidence was lost during the recent 22million dollar debacle. "It is sort of like we had this money, not laptops,computers or vials of Russian-made Smallpox like that reporter, Behn Haidd reported", stated spokesman Tommie Skinder, "It's all bogus, what he stated"....."Do you realize how easy it is to lose 22 million dollars, you try to keep tabs of it and see if you do not lose it also, this is bunk"..... * Mexico/Canada to appeal to Supreme Court to have 2nd Amendment to the Constitution repealed and made null and void... * Despite heavy losses on Wall Street the Dow resounded with a 300% increase....will continue gains until correction can be made to take place..... * Floods in the drought-laden areas of the west have increased the peoples attempt to take things in stride...... * Brittany Spears is to re-enter rehad this August...her regret-"I may not get to see the terrorist hit on the US"....Oh Brittany..... * Paris Hilton remains in the news despite Fox,CBS,MSNBC,CSPAN,SPORTS NETWORK, 2 hour long specials of We Should Not Be Reporting On Paris Hilton which will run daily on a three time basis, one of which is to repeat in Prime Time..... * Willie O'Really reasserts his understanding of false accusations toward President Bill Clinton's womanizing in the White House, "I do defend him and myself also, I did not touch that woman."..... .........NEWS BRIEFS.....NEWS BRIEFS......NEWS BRIEFS............................


Lawmakers block access to gun sales data (MEXICO EX-PRESIDENT IS ANGERED BECAUSE 2ND ADMENDMENT TO THE CONSTITUTION-THE RIGHT TO BEAR ARMS IS PROTECTED-EX-PRESIDENT VINCYNTHIA FOX STATES "IT IS INDEED A TRAGEDY FOR MEXICO WHICH IS TO BECOME THE 53RD STATE OF AMERICA. CANADIAN PARLIMENT EXPRESSES ANGUISH TOWARD LAW PROTECTION AND MAY RECONSIDER THE 54TH STATE PROPOSAL.) Pro-gun rights Democrats teamed with House Republicans on Thursday to block local governments and law enforcement agencies from gaining routine access to gun-purchasing data. The House Appropriations Committee defeated two attempts by gun control advocates to strip four-year-old restrictions on the use of information from Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives tracing gun sales. The votes were a victory for the National Rifle Association and came despite the Democratic takeover of Congress in January. The committee's emotional debate often focused on broader gun rights issues rather than the matter at hand, involving when the bureau can share such information. Gun control advocates say the gun sales data is essential to uncovering dealers who sell guns that disproportionately end up in the hands of criminals. Gun rights advocates, led by Rep. Todd Tiahrt, R-Kan., said mayors such as New York City's Michael Bloomberg want the data to sue out-of-state gun dealers. Tiahrt, the key sponsor of the restrictions on sharing gun trace data, also said easing the restrictions could lead to the disclosure of police officers' identities and other details to criminals. "What the Tiahrt amendment does is protect those who protect us," Tiahrt said. Pro-gun advocates say the data-sharing restrictions protect gun owners' privacy. But Bloomberg and other mayors contend they hamper law enforcement authorities' ability to trace illegal guns and arrest weapons traffickers. "This handcuffs the cops, not the criminals," said Rep. C.A. "Dutch" Ruppersberger, D-Md. More than a dozen Democrats, most from rural districts, joined with all but two committee Republicans to defeat a bid by Rep. Patrick Kennedy, D-R.I., to ease the data sharing restrictions but ensure that police officers' names would not be compromised. Earlier, a bid by Rep. Jim Moran, D-Va., to reject Tiahrt's language altogether lost by a voice vote. The mayors say gun tracing data helps police departments determine the source of illegal guns, who buys them and how they are distributed. Almost three-fifths of guns used in crimes are sold by just 1 percent of gun dealers, who forge relationship with gun traffickers making multiple purchases. Under Bloomberg, who recently left the GOP amid speculation he may run for president as an independent, the city has sued out-of-state gun dealers in an attempt to reduce the flow of illegal guns into New York. The NRA-backed restrictions block cities from getting ATF data for such suits. The committee chairman, Rep. David Obey — a liberal Democrat representing a rural Wisconsin district — said the issue was only marginally related to gun rights. He opposed the efforts to ease the data restrictions. But Obey lashed out at both the NRA, which failed to endorse him in his most recent race despite his pro-gun rights record, and Bloomberg. He said the mayor's representatives met with his staff and threatened to run television ads attacking him. Lindsay Ellenbogen, a Bloomberg aide, denied any threats. Bloomberg is co-chairman of Mayors Against Illegal Gun Sales, which has run ads in a few congressional districts. Thursday's result continued a run of back luck on Capitol Hill for gun control advocates. They have lost many times since a Democratic-controlled Congress pushed through an assault weapons ban in 1994. Many Democrats credited the ban for losses in rural seats as the party took a drubbing at the polls that year. The return of Congress to Democratic hands did not appreciably hurt the NRA's position because many of the newcomers are from rural, pro-gun rights districts. "To allow this information to be misused by trial lawyers and gun control groups who want to sue gun manufacturers because criminals misused legally made and legally sold guns is not only bad policy but bad politics," said Chris W. Cox, the NRA's top lobbyist. The votes came as the committee approved a $53.6 billion bill for the departments of Commerce and Justice, as well as NASA and science programs. ONE POST-NOTE THE CATHOLIC GROUP CALLED, NUNS WITH GUNS, PRESERVED RIGHTS UNDER ATT.JANET RENO UNDER THE CLINTON PRESIDENCY WILL RETAIN THEIR RIGHT TO PRIVACY AND CARRY.


Equipment worth $22M missing from CDC 1 hour, 23 minutes ago The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services will investigate the disappearance of $22 million worth of equipment, computers and other items from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Last month, a congressional oversight committee requested an audit of the CDC's property management procedures and an investigation into allegations of theft at the center. CDC officials said they have accounted for about $9 million in missing goods in recent weeks. "A thorough audit will help stop the bleeding of taxpayer-owned property at CDC," U.S. Rep. Joe Barton, R-Texas, a member of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce, said in a statement Wednesday. "In cases of theft, it will also tell us what happened to the thieves." The committee specifically said it was concerned about a suspected "insider" burglary of $500,000 in computers, and millions of dollars worth of other items missing or unaccounted for since the CDC's last audit in 1995. Daniel Levinson, inspector general of Health and Human Services, told Barton in a June 25 letter that his department would conduct an audit and investigate the theft allegations, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Thursday. Between fiscal 2004 and 2006, there were 61 investigations into the theft or disappearance of CDC property. No arrests or disciplinary action resulted from those investigations, and several are ongoing, CDC spokesman Tom Skinner said. He said much of the equipment was discovered missing during a reorganization at the center. Staff are using new computer programs to better track items, he said. IRI NEWS AND VIEWS 3 hours and few minutes. INTERVIEW WITH THE HEAD OF THE CDC AND RECORDS KEEPING UNIT Tommie: Welcome to the CDC, glad we could set this story straight. IRI: My name is Behn Haidd, and I thank you for inviting us to conduct this interview, would you like to check my ID and credentials-my press pass? Tommie: No, of course not. We here at CDC trust all peoples of the world and have nothing to hide nor withhold, give us the questions and "ha-ha" I hope we can clear up a few things. (I note at this point that Tommie either winked at me or had something in his eye). IRI: It has been reported that you and your staff have lost over 22 million dollars of equipment and are now under and ongoing congressional investigation, is there any truth to this story? Tom: Yes, unfortunately, Some equipment, records, and vials of some type of green looking stuff have turned up missing in action, so to speak, "ha-ha" you know a real MIA type of drama but you'll never see this type of stuff on TV you know what I mean? They use only the fake stories never the real stuff. IRI: Can you elaborate, or tell us what some of the more "compromised" items may be missing? What about the peoples whom have AID's and other infectious diseases, are they missing any records, and thank goodness there were no nuclear launch codes lost as in the previous two administrations (speaking of the current administration)...! Tom: Well....let's should I put this, uh, on the AID's thingee I suppose some of those records were what we would consider in the secret world - compromised. As bad as I hate to state this, imagine if the President and his Vice and the Congress,Senate,Judicial departments were, shall I say, Hit or as we say "interrupted" would you not want someone in charge of the Nukes who were very responsible, in case of an attack, now you can see what we are up against. IRI: Were there any suspicious characters "hangin out or around the CDC lately" and if so can you tell us what and who they are? Tom: Well, heh-heh, there was this one guy and some of his so-called "doctor friends", but I mean, be real they could not recite any of the medical information we were sharing with them and they kept asking about "vials of Russian made Smallpox". When I asked the good doctor, if he was a doctor "ha-ha" about the medical definition of the RSP (Russian Made Smallpox) he did not know how to define it or what it looked like or where we kept it stored I had to show him everything, he didn't even know the combination to the vault where we keep the stuff stored, I mean, you talk about your dummies and Morons, and that's with a capitial M for stupid, this guy was loaded. And get this, his name was, if you can believe it Amaso Neb Nedal what a clown and he fancied his big beard and kept rubbing it, you know what I mean, what a real winner. And the guys with him were like your first year med students and they kept stating, "You do not have authority or laptops for, how do you say, nuke lauch codes, right?" What a dunce if I told him once I must have told him a thousand times, "Yes, I have the codes but it's just me no one else has the codes except Mike, Tony, Roberta, Lois and a few others whom I don't know their names" he wasn't convinced I finally had to give him one of the laptops to convince him, what an idiot. IRI: Did he return the laptop to you? Did you check their ID's? Tom: Well, I am sure he did or if he didn't he meant to return it. We here at CDC do not check ID's or discriminate in any fashion, that's your local boys who do that, you know, your hometown heros the police or cops as we call them, what a bunch of know it alls, they have to know where people are from, check their ID's and passports, you know, the stuff that gives us all the willies..! I have even heard they use mirrors underneath cars and trucks and use "sniffer dogs" I mean, gee whiz, what's that all about? If you ask me we would be better off if the FEDs were in charge locally. IRI: You do know that is against the Constitution don't you? Are you aware that M.ShirtOff has stated that we may soon be hit by a terrorist attack by late summer? Tom: Oh, the Constitution, "What's that" stated Tom (with that uncanny wink as he had before), a little tidbit for you as a reporter, you guys should learn your law - when we signed onto NAFTA, GATT and soon with AFTA, and this I bet you didn't know it was against the arachic Constitution and in signing such made it null and void, that is why we turned 20 miles of each side of all waterways, including the small ponds and creeks over to the UN and also our National Parks, why do you think they call them International Parks (?), you should read that Constitution you talk about and these small insignificant details you would know. And about the late Summer hit by terrorists, you haven't heard, because all the people were getting distraught with not knowing the exact timetable the President and Mr. ShirtOff have had it move up to within a few weeks, boy, if I did not know any better I would say that you reporters were just as much an idiot as the Amaso Neb Nedal group that he brought here but at least they could fly commercial jets, I bet you can't do that can you? IRI: No, you got me there I am not a pilot. Do you have any views on this recent Pope comment that any one that is not in the Catholic Church are not going to heaven? Tom: Keep this off the record as we are not allowed to mix Church and State, oops sorry, that was under the Constitution, "you should interview some of the Popes mouthpieces" they can give you plenty of comments. IRI: And who would that be? Tom: Anyone at Foxx Tv and practically any other network, but I ask you he's German, right, I mean this Pope-he's German, what did you expect? But for now I must close this interview and ask that you keep my name out of the media for appearance sake. IRI: Yes, he's German and perhaps you are right. We honour all of our interviews by withholding names upon request, I thank you for your time and letting us come into the CDC but I must ask, why such a hurry? Tom: Well that really," intelligent doctor" is due to drop in and I have to go over a few more codes with him and his comrades, you remember, the dude as I call him in private, named Amaso Neb Nebal, have a great day. IRI: Thank you, and you also.