It was the Time Of The Cows, so it would be called in
Germany. The Germans were short on the amount of horses that they had, to
address for the wars, so the Germans began training the Cow or the Cattle for
the battle. Armed with the German Saddle and Bridle, they became the choice of
the people over that of the horse as the mount was far easier and quicker, and
during times of lack of water and nourishment they provided milk for the troops.
The Germans were not ashamed of their newfound compadres and reached a name
which they unabashedly called the Company of Moo, so called for the strange
sounds emitted from the Cows. In early days, they were called the Cattle
Calvary, the Big Brown Cow Brigade, and Troops of Cow. While the enemy rolled
with laughter at the German military, they could not so much as envision the
slaughter that would greet them. Unlike the horse who would not step upon a
human body on the ground, first brought to public attention in the John Wayne
Movie, 'El Dorado' to which the actor called, 'Alan Bourdillion Traherne' or
'Mississippi' (as he liked to be called) threw himself in front of running
horses not to be trampled, but to cause the ability of shooting straight to be
unaccomplished. Many of the enemy soldiers cast themselves in front of the
Germany Moos hoping to alter the ability of the shooter and the swordsmen/women,
only to be trampled to death. The nations armies quickly setup conferences to
alert the soldiers of the phenomenon called 'Stampede of the Moos' later it
would simply be called, "Lookout Stampede" and then just the word of alert,
"Stampede". When the enemy heard the word 'stampede' they began to run to find
cover of small deep gulches, but many would find the gulch to be a burying
ground as the Moos would fall upon them, weighing in at hundreds of pounds the
human body stood not a chance for protection. Later, the armies of the world, in
conducting tests, found the Moos would not run into a wall, at least not on
purpose, nor would they be able to run up a ramp, so the armies began to carry
great precut ramps which would quickly be fastened together, and set on various
locations on the countryside fields, these very quickly were called the Field of
Ramps. The enemy had gained much knowledge also in pre-fabricated buildings, and
just before the trump of the battle was sounded they would scurry about, looking
like that ants brought to the harvest, and pre-fab buildings similar to that of
a double outhouse appeared dotted sparsely upon the battlefield. The enemy also
found that if they dug a hole quick enough and set the pre-fab buildings upon
them, it would provide much needed privacy for the troops.
The German Army became incensed with both rage and
jealousy, admiring the ingenuity of the enemy, and the new silent domains of
privacy dotting the landscape, and tried with much failure to equip the Troops
of Moo with the pulling of logs and pre-fabs, which eventually caused the
collapse of one of history's most exciting and healthy bone structured Army in
the world. With the pulling of the logs/pre-fabs the soldiers noticed the milk,
butter, and cheese began to taste wurst, as the Cattle was finding nourishment
among the Poppy plants, making not only the milk, cheese, butter taste with a
wild bitter 'tang' (not the orange flavored drink) and not only did this cause
the cattle to become disoriented, but also the troops themselves would seek more
food and complain of hunger. What had begun as one of the most brilliant moves
in the German Army history had become a military of Poppy-plant dependant troops
and Moos. Today, the German Army still trains the Moos for future battle, but
only as an extreme emergency action need, and the military keep the Moos
scattered on protected hillsides throughout the German landscape separated from
the deadly Poppy. The enemies of the Germans have since armed themselves with
Poppy seeds to be planted in a just in case mode of operation. It is a shame to
see the many decades of one of the strongest military force on the face of the
earth, now grazing on the hillsides of the Germanic peoples, but one thing is
still in their favor, the milk, cheese, and butter have a more excellent taste
than they have enjoyed for centuries, meanwhile the Moos stand every on alert,
matched by none, truly outstanding in their fields. We dedicate this memory and
this story to a Ms Anne Wiltafsky, trainer, and that of the riders and staff of
hundreds represented by Ms Regina Mayer, a truly innovative teenager of German
descent, Kudos, Regina!
TIME
OF THE COWS
BRIGADE OF THE
MOO
It was the Time Of The Cows, so it would be called in
Germany. The Germans were short on the amount of horses that they had, to
address for the wars, so the Germans began training the Cow or the Cattle for
the battle. Armed with the German Saddle and Bridle, they became the choice of
the people over that of the horse as the mount was far easier and quicker, and
during times of lack of water and nourishment they provided milk for the troops.
The Germans were not ashamed of their newfound compadres and reached a name
which they unabashedly called the Company of Moo, so called for the strange
sounds emitted from the Cows. In early days, they were called the Cattle
Calvary, the Big Brown Cow Brigade, and Troops of Cow. While the enemy rolled
with laughter at the German military, they could not so much as envision the
slaughter that would greet them. Unlike the horse who would not step upon a
human body on the ground, first brought to public attention in the John Wayne
Movie, 'El Dorado' to which the actor called, 'Alan Bourdillion Traherne' or
'Mississippi' (as he liked to be called) threw himself in front of running
horses not to be trampled, but to cause the ability of shooting straight to be
unaccomplished. Many of the enemy soldiers cast themselves in front of the
Germany Moos hoping to alter the ability of the shooter and the swordsmen/women,
only to be trampled to death. The nations armies quickly setup conferences to
alert the soldiers of the phenomenon called 'Stampede of the Moos' later it
would simply be called, "Lookout Stampede" and then just the word of alert,
"Stampede". When the enemy heard the word 'stampede' they began to run to find
cover of small deep gulches, but many would find the gulch to be a burying
ground as the Moos would fall upon them, weighing in at hundreds of pounds the
human body stood not a chance for protection. Later, the armies of the world, in
conducting tests, found the Moos would not run into a wall, at least not on
purpose, nor would they be able to run up a ramp, so the armies began to carry
great precut ramps which would quickly be fastened together, and set on various
locations on the countryside fields, these very quickly were called the Field of
Ramps. The enemy had gained much knowledge also in pre-fabricated buildings, and
just before the trump of the battle was sounded they would scurry about, looking
like that ants brought to the harvest, and pre-fab buildings similar to that of
a double outhouse appeared dotted sparsely upon the battlefield. The enemy also
found that if they dug a hole quick enough and set the pre-fab buildings upon
them, it would provide much needed privacy for the troops.
Horse
dreams dashed, German teen turns to cow Luna
April 5, 2011
LAUFEN, Germany When Regina Mayer's parents
dashed her hopes of getting a horse, the resourceful 15-year-old didn't sit in
her room and sulk. Instead, she turned to a cow called Luna to make her riding
dreams come true. Hours of training, and tons of treats, cajoling and caresses
later, the results are impressive: not only do the two regularly go on long
rides through the southern German countryside, they do jumps over a makeshift
hurdle of beer crates and painted logs. "She thinks she's a horse," the
golden-haired Mayer joked on a recent sunny afternoon as she sat atop the
impassive brown-and-white, grass-munching cow. It all started about two years
ago, shortly after Luna was born on the Mayers' sprawling farm in the hamlet of
Laufen, just minutes from the Austrian border. They started off with walks in
the woods during which Luna wore a halter. Then Mayer slowly got her cow more
accustomed to human contact and riding equipment. About six months later, it was
time to see how Luna would respond to a rider on her back. Mayer sat in the
saddle, and all went as planned at least at first. "She was really well behaved
and walked normally," said Mayer, decked out in riding gear. "But after a couple
of meters, she wanted me to get off! You could see that she got a bit peeved."
Luna and Mayer are now soul mates, spending most afternoons together once the
teen who aspires to become a nurse one day comes home from school. Their
extensive routine involves grooming, petting, jumps and a roughly one-hour ride.
That's also the case in winter, when Mayer lovingly drapes a blanket over Luna
to keep her warm. It's a lot of work "but I enjoy it," Mayer said. Her efforts
have paid off. Now, Luna understands commands such as "go," `'stand" and
"gallop." If she feels like it, that is. "When she wants to do something she
does it, when she doesn't, she doesn't," said Mayer, who proudly says Luna
thinks of her as her mother. "And she's often very headstrong but can also be
really adorable." Luna's stubborn streak meant that teaching her pony tricks
wasn't always easy, Mayer noted, saying she sought tips from a cow expert in
Switzerland on how to deal with "steering" problems. Anne Wiltafsky, who trains
cows near the Swiss city of Zurich, said Luna's talents are not particularly
surprising and that, historically, it was quite common to ride cows and use them
as workhorses. "Especially younger ones can jump really well," Wiltafsky said in
a telephone interview, adding that cows are lovable companions because they're
easygoing, have strong nerves and are "unbelievably devoted" to people they
like. Being and owning a cow-turned-pony isn't always easy. Take the somewhat
skeptical neighbors, such as Martin Putzhammer, who had to be won over. "At
first I thought it was kind of weird a kid on a cow?" the 17-year-old said
during a break from repairing his moped. "Had to get used to it but once I did I
thought it was pretty funny." While Mayer's friends quickly warmed to her
passion after laughing at her, Luna's fellow cows weren't so open-minded. "Cows
don't really like her ... they're jealous because she always gets goodies,"
Mayer said. And horses? Many run away in fright, but others often join Luna on
rides. "She really enjoys that and gets totally into it," Mayer said. Mayer
hasn't given up her hopes of having a horse and may soon get one. But she says
Luna will always have a special place in her heart. "She'll stay my darling,"
she said.
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